Na ja....
As my friends most of you know that I am sad that my parents never visit me, even though I have invited them many times. This week I got even more sad as I was talking to my sister on the phone and she told me that my parents went camping in Belgium! :-O Oh, but my place in on the way to Belgium from Denmark, and they didn't say a word not visited me! Anyway, not much to do about that except hoping that they would visit me on the way home.
I sent an SMS and hoped for the best. Today, 4 days later or so, my dad called. I had had a very real dream with him this night and I kind of had the feeling that he was going to tell me that they would drop by on the way home. He sounded kind of happy and I talked and asked how it was in Belgium.
Then my dad suddently changed subject and said, "no Kenneth we won't visit you, it is not so easy with the caravan". I said, "why not, there are plenty of camping places outside the city, it is no problem." He said, "no no, we just won't do it. Another time we will come." Hah, my experience tells me that that means that they won't come and I don't care about words without action, so I said, "That is what you always say and that means that you don't come at all... Please count how many times you have visited me the last 6 years."
He answered "Yeah, but Kenneth it is not so easy... we don't have so much time etc." Then I said, "but you can always plan and you are at least in Belgium now. Apparently you have time for that! You could also have choosen to visit me. It is all about what you prioritize."
"...Yeah", he said, "but we don't have so much time to have fun and have it nice..." and I said, "well it is nice to know that you don't consider visiting your son as being nice or of any importance ..." and I really felt hurted and like crying... and that kind of ended the conversation with him.
My mom took the phone, I didn't really listen as it was too much for the moment, but I'm could feel that she felt that I was deeply hurted. Now... Let's see if they will ever visit me here in the Netherlands before I move... I guess I shouldn't hold my breath.
I sent an SMS and hoped for the best. Today, 4 days later or so, my dad called. I had had a very real dream with him this night and I kind of had the feeling that he was going to tell me that they would drop by on the way home. He sounded kind of happy and I talked and asked how it was in Belgium.
Then my dad suddently changed subject and said, "no Kenneth we won't visit you, it is not so easy with the caravan". I said, "why not, there are plenty of camping places outside the city, it is no problem." He said, "no no, we just won't do it. Another time we will come." Hah, my experience tells me that that means that they won't come and I don't care about words without action, so I said, "That is what you always say and that means that you don't come at all... Please count how many times you have visited me the last 6 years."
He answered "Yeah, but Kenneth it is not so easy... we don't have so much time etc." Then I said, "but you can always plan and you are at least in Belgium now. Apparently you have time for that! You could also have choosen to visit me. It is all about what you prioritize."
"...Yeah", he said, "but we don't have so much time to have fun and have it nice..." and I said, "well it is nice to know that you don't consider visiting your son as being nice or of any importance ..." and I really felt hurted and like crying... and that kind of ended the conversation with him.
My mom took the phone, I didn't really listen as it was too much for the moment, but I'm could feel that she felt that I was deeply hurted. Now... Let's see if they will ever visit me here in the Netherlands before I move... I guess I shouldn't hold my breath.
posted by Kenneth Rohde Christiansen at
7:32 PM
1 Comments:
In 10 years, no visits from my parents (who retired years ago), ever. During that time, they've been to France and Florida... but could never make the trip to see me-- I used to live about 6 hrs drive away & now I'm 2.5 hrs away.
My mother keeps asking me when I'll visit. I used to give her a date, but now I tell her I don't know or say "Christmas". I used to visit four or five times a year, now I visit when I bloody well want to. Maybe next time my mother asks when I'm coming, I'll say, "Why, were you planning to leave town?" Hahahah
My parents are getting pretty old and I assume they'll die with a clean slate unsullied by any efforts on their part.
Maybe I should move to France or Florida, LOL.
By the way, your dad sounds like a patronizing schmuck. Or maybe your parents are actually a species of animal that raises it young, then ends contact with them once they've left the nest.
Maybe you should get adopted by a nice older couple who would be happy to visit you.
I hope you end up with nice in-laws (as I did)-- they don't replace callous parents, but it does ease the pain.
By
Viviane, at Sunday, May 24, 2009 7:53:00 PM
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